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Helping a Senior Who Doesn't Want Care Services


Caring for an aging parent or loved one can be one of the more difficult tasks any adult child has in life, and being a caregiver comes with many questions and uncertainties. It’s not easy to make decisions on behalf of a parent who wants to maintain their independence, especially when it’s apparent that they can no longer adequately care for themselves. Whether it’s become clear that Dad should no longer be driving or that Mom needs overnight care, these tips will make those conversations just a little easier.

Start Early, but Be Patient 

It’s not easy, but addressing caregiving issues before they arise can save a lot of stress for both the caregiver and the senior. Being proactive about the situation and addressing Mom or Dad’s hopes, wants, and needs for the future before they enter their golden years can make the transition easier when the need for home care eventually arises. But not every family has this conversation early enough; adult children should be prepared to have several conversations with their parents or loved ones before getting them to agree that they need outside help. Asking questions, listening with empathy, and validating their concerns can help to build trust and eventually get the parent to agree that home care is needed.

Reframe the Conversation

It’s understandable that anyone would feel reluctant when being told they can no longer care for themselves and need assistance for activities of daily living. Reframing the conversation to put Mom or Dad in a supervisory role over the caregiver can help them be more receptive to the idea. Framing the caregiver as a personal assistant who is available to help with housekeeping, errands, meal planning, and other senior care services as needed gives Mom or Dad the feeling that they will be directing the caregiver, rather than being supervised.

Offer Them Options

If Mom or Dad seems somewhat receptive to outside help, but still isn’t convinced, make them feel in control of the situation by giving them agency. Instead of choosing caregivers for them, adult children should allow their parents or aging loved ones to be involved in picking a home care provider or care team. If they can choose which times and days of the week to have the caregiver, and which activities they would like assistance with, then they will be more likely to go along with it than if outside help is forced upon them.

To learn more about senior care, home care, and dementia care services from SYNERGY HomeCare of North Valley, call us at 480-947-1234 or fill out our contact form to schedule an in-home consultation. We’d be honored to help your family adjust to welcoming a caregiver into your home.